Monday, August 24, 2009

we'z all gonna daaiiii!!!

While perusing the news of JUST TODAY we came across a trend that we felt had to be mentioned. Professing that the fit has hit the shan would be an understatement. Now sure someone can say, "news is usually bad as it is meant to get someones attention", and that is true but this isn't gunshots or gang violence, this is real facts that will affect us pretty goddamn seriously. Where to begin..

Hurricane Bill was downgraded and some people felt relieved that maybe this was a trend? That maybe global warming isn't so bad or not necessarily the cause? Think again futhermucker!!

Storm winds got so bad late last week in New York that it caused trees to snap in Central Park. CENTRAL PARK. The park that is central to one of the most condensed cities in the world. Usually such severe weather like windstorms don't make it into big cities because, like gigantic trees do in the forest, skyscrapers act as wind barriers. So for the winds and storms to be so bad they crack large trees? THATS a problem.

Its not just The city that never sleeps with storm issues. A small, though still pretty fugging rare, tornado did damage to homes in south paris. But thats not all! Paris itself is also seeing record temperatures as well as Rome. So much so, that cops in rome will be handing out bottled water.

Next on this world tour is Alaska, where acidity levels in the water are getting so bad from Co2 levels that it will effect their fishing industry, which next to oil, is pretty much all they have. Not to mention kill off hundreds of different species in those waters, BUT Alaska still has tree killing beetles.

Speaking of those murderous beetles who cant die now due to milder winters and thus are flourishing like locusts, They seemed to have teamed up with wildfires to make the greatest villain team-up ever. The beetles eat up and kill the trees, the trees of course stop producing oxygen and taking in CO2 and basically become standing tinder, and can now more easily catch fire, then pollution from the fire makes the Co2 levels even worse. OH WAIT! What's that in the sky?! Is it a bird? A plane? No! It's a middling, ineffectual politician who will do little to nothing about it....great...

Speaking of those who can do something about all of this, what are WE, the human race doing to stop, sequester, slow down, or end any of this? Let's check.

Wildfires in Athens burned up so much forest that Athens as a whole will suffer huge downturns in their air quality, as those trees will no longer be able to take in CO2 and produce oxygen. (duh) In the past business developers in Athens have purposefully started fires in order to buy the land later for development. Hmmm not very helpful...

China urges it will "do its best" to move closer to climate control, being that their country produces almost as much CO2 as us, and are TRYING to beat us by building a new coal fired plant a week. But admit they will not agree to any fixed caps. Hmmm doesn't SEEM very helpful...

In the US, wall street is repackaging the idea of selling debt, the problem that got them into trouble to begin with. WHY is that prevalent here? Because the economy tanking is the reason that climate change wasn't the first crisis handled when Obama took office. Dozens of pundits and politicians stated that the environment can wait until after the economy is fixed, forcing better pundits and politicians to make the case that a green economy COULD fix it faster. Hmm...still no help here...

Oh and poachers are selling endangered monkeys online...........FUCK!

So there it is, just TODAYS news. Lets hope tomorrow has some yknow, HOPE in it. In the meantime rest assured, the VPAR will be here.... to go play Wipeout HD on xbox live to help forget this depressing shit. SALUTATIONS AND GOOD DAY!

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