Sunday, June 28, 2009

our first expulsion ever

The Vice Presidential Action Rangers have convened to discuss a problem concerning two honorary members. Author Ray Bradbury and Tech Blog Gizmodo.

On the 25th of June, Gizmodo ran a "story" about how Ray Bradbury had lamented the internet as distracting and meaningless when asked if his books would show up online. He then defended public libraries. Though we here use the internet often and find it valuable overall, hey its Ray Bradbury, and hes not entirely wrong. How many times have any of US thought to search for something, only to forget it when we sat down, but stayed there anyway and just fucked around the internet. Or ended up 10 profiles deep on Myspace, or 10 videos deep on Youtube. The internet can be a colossal waste of time and someone pointing that out isn't a problem for us.

BUT it was a problem for Dan Nosowitz at Gizmodo. He felt the best way to "report" this story was to belittle Ray Bradbury, referring to him as crazy and waving him off as just an old man saying silly things. WAS it necessary? NO, of course it wasn't. But on more than one occasion, Gizmodo has made it clear that we are LUCKY to have them "report" to us and however much snobby, snooty, better than you, attitude they give out, we should be thankful for.

We forgave Gizmodo when they acted like dicks at CES with their prank of TV-B-Gone. We looked the other way when Gizmodo lied about having firsthand news about the iPhone, only to have it be about a Linksys product.

We gave them the benefit of the doubt, when they were once the biggest detractors of Comcast and its fight against Net Neutrality, only to then see Comcast begin to advertise on Gizmodo, and then watch the stories about Comcast dry up. IN FACT, today if you search Comcast on Gizmodo, you get ads made to look like posts. Was it deplorable to sell out like that? Yes. Did they betray their readers? Of course. Does it make them little more than cheap scumbags? Absolutely. But who knows, maybe their kids were hungry and needed bread and shoes.

But this is the last straw. To be a dick to someone of Bradburys caliber, to pick on an old man, just because he dislikes something to burn hours on, was childish and sad given that YOU Dan Nosowitz, and YOU Gizmodo, are in NO WAY better than Bradbury is. So little do you compare that it almost comes off like jealousy. THEN when one of our members tried to comment the story twice, making clear his disapproval, his comments never showed up, BUT many comments agreeing with the story and shitting all over Bradbury are still there.

Ergo vis a vis, here to with, eeehh..from this day on, Gizmodo is stripped of its title as an Honorary Vice Presidential Action Ranger, never to darken our computers again with their petty, pathetic bullshit.

Now if you'll excuse us, we're going to the library.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

in the news: The one Justice who harassed women, votes its ok to touch girls

(well at least clarence thomas is consistent...)

Supreme Court rules search of Arizona teen was illegal.

The Supreme Court ruled Thursday that a school's strip search of an Arizona teenage girl accused of having prescription-strength ibuprofen was illegal.

In an 8-1 ruling, the justices said school officials violated the law with their search of Savana Redding in the rural eastern Arizona town of Safford.

Redding, who now attends college, was 13 when officials at Safford Middle School ordered her to remove her clothes and shake out her underwear because they were looking for pills — the equivalent of two Advils. The district bans prescription and over-the-counter drugs and the school was acting on a tip from another student.

"What was missing from the suspected facts that pointed to Savana was any indication of danger to the students from the power of the drugs or their quantity, and any reason to suppose that Savana was carrying pills in her underwear," Justice David Souter wrote in the majority opinion. "We think that the combination of these deficiencies was fatal to finding the search reasonable."

In a dissent, Justice Clarence Thomas found the search legal and said the court previously had given school officials "considerable leeway" under the Fourth Amendment in school settings.

Officials had searched the girl's backpack and found nothing, Thomas said. "It was eminently reasonable to conclude the backpack was empty because Redding was secreting the pills in a place should thought no one would look," Thomas said.

Thomas warned that the majority's decision could backfire. "Redding would not have been the first person to conceal pills in her undergarments," he said. "Nor will she be the last after today's decision, which announces the safest place to secrete contraband in school."

The court also ruled the officials cannot be held liable in a lawsuit for the search. Different judges around the nation have come to different conclusions about immunity for school officials in strip searches, which leads the Supreme Court to "counsel doubt that we were sufficiently clear in the prior statement of law," Souter said.

"We think these differences of opinion from our own are substantial enough to require immunity for the school officials in this case," Souter said.

The justices also said the lower courts would have to determine whether the Safford United School District No. 1 could be held liable.

A schoolmate had accused Redding, then an eighth-grade student, of giving her pills.

The school's vice principal, Kerry Wilson, took Redding to his office to search her backpack. When nothing was found, Redding was taken to a nurse's office where she says she was ordered to take off her shirt and pants. Redding said they then told her to move her bra to the side and to stretch her underwear waistband, exposing her breasts and pelvic area. No pills were found.

A federal magistrate dismissed a suit by Redding and her mother, April. An appeals panel agreed that the search didn't violate her rights. But last July, a full panel of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals found the search was "an invasion of constitutional rights" and that Wilson could be found personally liable.

Justices John Paul Stevens and Ruth Bader Ginsburg dissented from the portion of the ruling saying that Wilson could not be held financially liable.

"Wilson's treatment of Redding was abusive and it was not reasonable for him to believe that the law permitted it," Ginsburg said.

in the news: Your credit gets shitty for no reason due to a loophole the credit card bill of rights didnt consider or ignored on purpose

(usually a story like this wouldn't interest the VPAR as most of us are too young for credit cards, but the sheer fucked-upness of the CC companies fucking with peoples credit scores compelled us to post it.)

After years of getting Americans hooked on credit, card companies are slashing limits and weaning themselves off all but the safest customers

Terry Mazzera has worked to keep her credit score above 730, paying bills on time, sending in more than the minimum credit-card payment each month, and keeping a comfortable gap between her balance and credit limit.

But a couple of weeks ago, the 62-year-old Hercules (Calif.) resident got a letter from a credit-card company saying that her limit had been cut from $9,500 to $6,500—just about $400 above the amount she owed on the card. The primary reason: She was a late on a payment on a separate department store card.

Debt-to-Limit Ratios

Her debt-to-limit ratio on the card suddenly zoomed up from 64% to 94%, and she expects her credit score will be damaged. The ratio is a key component that credit bureaus use to determine creditworthiness. "It's not right," said Mazzera, a project assistant at a construction company. "I worked very hard to keep my credit."

Mazzera is part of a growing number of Americans who are seeing their credit limits slashed. Even people with good jobs, low balances, and solid payment histories could be seeing their credit scores slip through no fault of their own. About 16% of customers had their limits reduced between April 2008 and October 2008, according to a recent study by Minneapolis-based FICO, which developed the Fair Isaac scoring model used by credit bureaus to evaluate default risk.

But only a fraction of those customers would be considered risky. Jittery banks, eager to reduce potential risk, appear to be targeting many borrowers with low-balance or inactive accounts. About 11% of customers who saw their limits cut had no "risk triggers" during that period and generally had very high credit scores. Risk triggers include late payments, excessive cash advances, check bouncing, collecting unemployment, or having a mortgage in an area where property values are plummeting.

Credit Scores at Risk

"This is blindsiding people," said Evan Hendricks, author of Credit Scores & Credit Reports (Atlas Books). "For a significant portion of people having their credit scores go down, it had nothing to do with what they did. This is the system making credit scores go down. This is a new thing in history."

There's no way to know how many good credit scores are being lowered by the credit limit cuts. FICO said its study showed that borrowers whose available credit was cut did not see a change to their median FICO score, which remained at 770. But the survey ended in October 2008, just as the financial crisis was beginning. It's unclear what has happened since then.

Even a small FICO score drop in today's environment of tight credit can make the difference in getting a mortgage, a car loan, or another credit card, and it can have an impact on the interest rate a borrower pays. The FICO score ranges from 300 to 850 and the best mortgage rates are generally given to borrowers who have at least about 730.

The credit limit reductions are confusing to customers because many borrowers have credit cards so that "when a rainy day comes along they can use it," said Linda Sherry, spokeswoman for Consumer Action, a San Francisco-based nonprofit consumer education and advocacy group.

"It's hard for consumers to understand because before the credit-card companies were almost pushing credit," Sherry said. "Now they're taking it back, even for people who were doing nothing wrong."

Rising Default Rates

Banks are cutting limits in the face of a deteriorating economy. U.S. credit-card default rates reached record highs in May, near or even above 10% for Bank of America, American Express, Citigroup, and Capital One, according to Reuters. The worsening unemployment situation is causing banks to worry that even good customers could quickly become risky customers. As a result, the companies are preemptively slashing credit lines, especially those that aren't being used.

"The single biggest indicator of a person's ability to repay is whether they have a job, and economists say unemployment could hit 10%," said Peter Garuccio, spokesman for the American Bankers Assn. "Issuers say their losses track closely with unemployment and they have to minimize exposure."

Garuccio said some customers who think they're excellent customers might be riskier than they think. Somebody who just pays the minimum payment each month isn't the ideal customer, he said. "Somebody who is paying more than the minimum and not carrying a balance is a great customer."

From Ideal Customer to Liability

Curtis Arnold, founder of, said the same customers that banks were aggressively soliciting are now making them nervous.

"The irony of this is that somebody who carried a balance was their [the banks'] bread-and-butter customer," Arnold said. "Now that same customer is a threat."

The banks might be tightening available credit in reaction to new federal legislation, taking effect in the middle of next year, that will restrict how credit-card companies raise rates. Among the other rules designed to benefit customers, banks will only be able to hike rates on existing balances if a customer is 60 days late on a payment, and it must provide 45 days' advance notice before increasing rates.

It pays in this environment to keep the balance-to-limit ratio below a third and keep a close eye on any changes to credit reports, experts say. Author Hendricks suggests consumers try to pay down balances or convince lenders to restore limits. Borrowers can access a free credit report once a year from each of the three credit bureaus at On, customers can buy their TransUnion and Equifax FICO scores for $15.95 each. Experian sells reports and scores on

op-ed: the changing face of ineptitude

The Democratic Party is having a rough go of it lately. You'd think that the party in power of both houses and the White House would be living on easy street. Able to do what they like and accomplish everything they have stumped for, for the past 8 years.

Weeeeelll it turns out it wasn't as easy as all that. You see when you promise something, again and again and again, and THEN are given the power to give it, and DON'T, people are going to want to know WHY.

The Democratic Party has promised gays equal rights, environmentalists that we'd save the earth, people going bankrupt paying hospital bills universal healthcare, and unions a chance to, at the very least, organize without fear of retaliation.

For SO LONG the Democratic Party has promised these things, that the environmentalists, unions, the uninsured in debt, and gays have been rock solid voting groups for the Democrats. UNFORTUNATELY now that the Dems have their day in the sun, the whole ordeal seems to only shed light on the fact that the Democratic Party is just as guilty of siding with lobbyists as Republicans are, albeight a little less psychotically.

Honorary VPAR Bill Maher explains this dutifully.

And President Obama isn't exactly free of blame either. As Bill explains here.

President Obama has already had one fundraiser cave in on him, due to the fact that it was to feature prominent gays and lesbians, who were just the slightest bit put off lately by the DOJ defending DOMA, and Obama putting off retting rid of Don't Ask Don't Tell until who the fuck knows when. Sensing a rift with gays and lesbians, Obama signed an Executive Order giving federal gays and lesbians more rights, BUT being as its not FULL rights, and it's JUST federal employees, the LGBT fundraiser looks like it will be a shell of what was intended.

This isn't just about people not realizing that washington is harder than it looks, or groups not getting that things take time. This is about a Party and a President who like being popular and like their jobs more than they respect the vows of office they took to their constituents, and who seem to have forgotten the whole FUCKING REASON THEY GOT ELECTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

The Windfall of 2008 wasn't made of thin air. It came about after 8 YEARS of ass-backwards, dumbass leadership from a party who was so far right they fell off the edge of the flat earth they believe in. If the American people wanted the same old meandering, half-ass, bullshit, leadership. The Democrats would still be the minority party.

If this country is to ever get the true Progessive Leadership it deserves, it has to make crystal clear that nothing even close to what we were forced to survive in the past 8 years will be tolerated.

Fortunately this isn't a futile exercise. is currently working to remind Democrats WHY they were elected and have so far been effective in doing it.

In the end, we have to do something. IF we're to save the environment, or ever get true universal healthcare, or give gays the same rights as minorities then we have to take advantage of the power available now, and run with it like there's no tomorrow. Because frankly, at this rate, there might not be.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

in the news: metal poisoning from fish? more like delicious TASTE EXPLOSION! XD

We Vice Presidential Action Rangers are back from time away. Being as we are now headquartered in an island paradise, the vacation spot had to be a bit different, so we headed north, and came across this little GEM. >_<

WASHINGTON – A mining company was given the go-ahead by the Supreme Court on Monday to dump waste from an Alaskan gold mine into a nearby 23-acre lake, although the material will kill all of the lake's fish.

The court said that the federal government acted legally in declaring the waste left after metals are extracted from the ore as "fill material" allowing a federal permit without meeting more stringent requirements from the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency under the Clean Water Act.

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin called the decision "great news for Alaska" and said it "is a green light for responsible resource development." The Kensington gold mine 45 miles north of Juneau will produce as many as 370 jobs when it begins operation.

But environmentalists feared the ruling could lead to a broader easing of requirements on how companies dispose of their mining waste.

"If a mining company can turn Lower Slate Lake in Alaska into a lifeless waste dump, other polluters with solids in their water can potentially do the same to any water body in America," said Trip Van Noppen, president of Earthjustice, which had participated in the litigation.

By a 6-3 vote, the Supreme Court said a federal appeals court wrongly blocked on environmental grounds the Army Corps of Engineers' waste disposal permit for the mine project. The Alaska mine, which had been closed since 1928, now plans to resume operation and will dump about 4.5 million tons of mine tailings — waste left after metals are extracted from the ore — into the lake located three miles away in the Tongass National Forest.

The court, in its majority opinion written by Justice Anthony Kennedy, said that the Army Corps was correct in agreeing with the mining company that the waste should be considered "fill material" and not subject to the more stringent EPA requirements.

The 2005 permit was issued three years after the Bush administration broadened the definition of fill material so that waste, including some contaminated materials, can be dumped into waterways.

"We conclude that the Corps was the appropriate agency to issue the permit and that the permit is lawful," wrote Kennedy. He said the court should "accord deference to the agencies' reasonable decision" on the matter.

In a dissenting opinion, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said it is "neither necessary or proper" to interpret the waterway protection law "as allowing mines to bypass EPA's zero-discharge standard by classifying slurry as fill material." She argued the lower court had been correct in concluding that the use of waters as "settling ponds for harmful mining waste" was contrary to the federal Clean Water Act.

Environmentalists said dumping 200,000 gallons a day of mining waste water — containing aluminum, copper, lead, mercury and other metals — has dire implications not only for the Alaska lake, but possibly other lakes and waterways.

Rob Cadmus of the Southeast Alaska Conservation Council said there were better ways to dispose of the mine waste such as dry land storage. But the mining company argued that the alternative would have been to put the material into nearby wetlands, which it maintained was more environmentally harmful.

Officials of the Idaho-based Coeur d'Alene Mine Co., owner of the Alaska mine, said the decision was the last hurdle to building the tailings facility so that mining activities can begin.

The court ruling "confirms that this thoroughly studied permit and plan is the best environmental choice" for disposal of the mine's waste, said Tony Ebersole, the company's director of corporate communications. Company lawyers said in court arguments that after mining activities are halted the lake will be restocked.

"The lake will be as good or better as a fishery than it is today," Ebersole said. The waste deposits are expected to raise the lakebed 50 feet to the current lake surface level and eventually triple its size to 60 acres. The lake contains a variety of common fish that are not expected to survive, according to court documents.

Sen. Lisa Murkowski, R-Alaska, welcomed the court ruling and said it "resolved the most significant obstacle to the creation of hundreds of direct and indirect jobs and a major boost for the economy of Juneau and Southeast Alaska."

The disposal plan had been approved by various state agencies. But the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco in 2007 blocked the permit.

Joining Kennedy in approving the disposal plan were Chief Justice John Roberts and Justices Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, Stephen Breyer and Samuel Alito Jr. In addition to Ginsburg, dissenting were Justices John Paul Stevens and David Souter.

(SINCE the court likes to fall back on the old adage that a judge MUST interpret the law as is, AND bush is the one who broadened the rules for dumping that the judges based their ruling on, lets see if President Obama steps up and does something about this in the same vein that bush did. Hopefully President Obama has a higher opinion of fish rights than he does of gay rights.)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Bonny Eagle High School hates you fucking little bastards

Diploma Denied To Student Who Bowed, Blew Kiss To Family

June 16th, 2009

For teens, there is no greater joy than graduating high school. Shaking off the shackles of education and claiming that hard-fought diploma is truly an epic day. Unfortunately, for several students at Bonny Eagle High School in Maine, their natural exuberance has led to some surprisingly serious problems.

On Friday night, when the senior class was waiting to graduate, excitement began to grow. Students bounced a large inflatable rubber duck. The noise level rose. And then came "the kiss." When called, one student walked on stage to receive his diploma and blew a kiss to his family. The school administrator, clearly not the sentimental sort, sent the student back to his seat ... sans diploma.

The seemingly harsh punishment has sent the Web all aflutter. Searches on "student denied diploma" and "bonny eagle high school" are both through the roof. Additionally, blogs and news papers are chiming in with opinions on whether or not the administration overreacted. The student's mother has given interviews and is quite upset at her son's treatment. According to an article from Fox News the outraged mother said, "A bow, a kiss to your mom is not misbehavior."

But the administrators feel they were just enforcing the rules that students agreed to. At a meeting following the debacle, school superintendent Suzanne Lukas said that "if a student doesn't adhere to the expectations, then the consequences are clearly spelled out."

The breakdown in decorum was the talk of graduation parties and gatherings over the weekend, as well as the subject of angry e-mails Monday to the Board of Directors of School Administrative District 6.

"It escalated to the point that there was so much bad feeling at the end that it totally overshadowed these kids' achievements," said Meg Hastings, whose parents and in-laws were also on hand to watch her son graduate. "I was amazed at how quickly it degenerated into this fiasco."

Hastings and some other parents said Superintendent Suzanne Lukas made matters worse by reacting to the bad manners of a few overly exuberant seniors.

"I think it was blown out of proportion," said Mary Weyer, the mother of a graduate. "I just felt it was so poorly handled."

This isn't the first time that rambunctious or dare we say "fun" behavior affected a graduation ceremony at Bonny Eagle. "Four years ago we had some issues with silly string and beach balls," said Lukas.

(It's not all Superintendent Suzanne Lukas' fault. On a high school administrators salary, she can't afford to have the giant stick removed from her ass.)

vimeo: STILL the official video website of the VPAR

Usually we strive to post more regularly than this but honestly there is nothing new going on of any value. Maybe its a sign of the times. With so many things being retread, redone, remade, rereleased, resold and rebooted these days, its hard to sift through all the phony crap and find genuine ingenuity.

Which is why the Vice Presidential Action Rangers love Vimeo. Unlike youtube and its endless vlogs, response videos and fights caught on camera phones, Vimeo's embrace of HD from day one has made it the site for those on the cusp of technology and originality to post their creations.

Never a visit to Vimeo goes by without watching a video and going, "wow...". In a way though Vimeo and its fans owe youtube thanks, because its popularity and mass appeal have kept Vimeo fairly free of the usual dreck that weighs youtube down by the millions. Like a video site rodeo clown keeping the average vlogger bull at bay while the super awesome cowboy video site runs away unscathed. XP So Thanks youtube! XD Now heres some awesome shit on Vimeo.


modul / from Zhestkov on Vimeo.

WOOD from mc bess on Vimeo.

Reulf from Charlesque on Vimeo.

Cotton Stones from Jonathan Entwistle on Vimeo.

Passion Pit - The Reeling from phantomcolor on Vimeo.

The Lemon Tree from William Campbell on Vimeo.

RE:PLAY FILM FESTIVAL: Shilo "Still Run" from F5 on Vimeo.

CORTNEY TIDWELL - WATUSII from Daniel Franke on Vimeo.

Oxygen from Christopher Hendryx on Vimeo.

LD from gkaster on Vimeo.

and finally, my favorite.

The Tarantino Mixtape from Eclectic Method on Vimeo.

this post could have been 20 pages long.
hmmmm...a plan is forming...eee! eee! eee!

Friday, June 12, 2009

op-ed: Attack of Sarah Palin 2: Daughter of Palin. Now in Cinemascope!

David Letterman isn't having a good week. For now were going to skip the Top 10 list he did about Sarah Palin, as that doesn't seem to be causing the him the biggest problem. Maybe because her makeup DOES make her look like a slutty flight attendant.

We will instead focus on the complete bullshit surrounding Letterman's monologue concerning Sarah Palins trip to New York and her daughter.

Letterman joked that during the 7th inning Sarah Palins daughter Bristol was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez. WHAM! Double zinger! One, at Alex Rodriguez because hes quite popular with the ladies, and Two, at Sarah Palins daughter Bristol because she has a tendency to have babies.

Sarah Palin then got "upset" and spoke out, causing the first real waste of time news story this year. Apparently it was one of Sarah Palins other 17 daughters who went to the game with her, the 14 year old Willow, not the one who actually had the baby, 18 year old Bristol.

"Did Letterman know it was Willow and not Bristol and thus make a joke about a grown man having sex with a 14 year old girl and because a 14 year old girl wouldn't want to have sex with a grown man, naturally the grown man would have to rape the young girl to get the sex he wants and so Letterman, in his joke supports men raping young girls?"

No of course not you fucking idiot. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. Who would believe that stupid crap?


Sarah Palin has since made a "rare" statement and addressed the "incident", calling the joke, "sexually perverted" and "degrading" and not only stated people should rise up and not accept this, (jokes in general? or just jokes about her knocked up daughter?) but she ALSO blamed the joke for a reason why girls have such low self-esteem in America. Funny because alot of people think seeing a woman nominated to the office of vice president, only to completely blow it by lying and winking and saying stupid bullshit would lower a young girls self esteem more. BUT WHO KNOWS.

Jokes come from somewhere. Comedians don't make jokes about Bill Clinton liking women because in reality he took a vow of abstinence. That wouldn't make sense and wouldn't be funny. Nor do they make jokes about George W. Bush being dumb because in reality hes a Rhodes Scholar. So naturally Letterman made a joke about Sarah Palins daughter getting knocked up BECAUSE SARAH PALINS DAUGHTER GOT KNOCKED UP.

And of COURSE he meant Bristol. WHO CARES what daughter actually went to the game. Bristol is the highest profile Palin kid. That's why the joke didn't have a name AND why people laughed. BECAUSE people connect the dots themselves. "hahaha that Palin kid got knocked up, remember." Its reeeeeaaaaallly that simple and that obvious and anyone who says otherwise is either dumb as rocks or is intentionally lying in order to make hay where none exists.

Given Sarah Palins track record, it could be either/or. -_-

Thursday, June 11, 2009



The geniuses who gave us our name (though we here in no way maintain the space time continuum) are back for 2 more seasons in 2010! They will air on Comedy Central and we all just peed ourselves!

Pretty fucking awesome

Are you sitting down? Are you ready? Because this is pretty big...for geeks...

The King of Action Figures back in the 80s and 90s, Playmates, has decided to celebrate the 25th Anniversary of their highest selling figures by re-releasing them in their original awesomeness. What are the figures in question? THE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES! XD XD XD

They look exactly the same! XD Yep. Pretty awesome indeed.

Op-ed: Terminator 4 - Two movies in one

One being pretty good and the other being pretty lame.

Terminator 4 is a "reboot" of the Terminator franchise but unlike Star Trek, sucks at it. When hearing it was a reboot and then watching it, its almost as if "McG", the movies director, didn't understand what a reboot is. To be a reboot you have to star over. Yet throughout the movie "McG" can't decide if the movie is a sequel or a new beginning for the franchise.

It became clear that "McG" didn't want to ACTUALLY do the work of rebooting the franchise, so just made a sequel, but wanted to use the phrase reboot so he could do what he liked with the story, in places he wanted. Too bad nobody told him that this makes it confusing and a pain in the ass to sit through.

BUT as the title suggests, it wasn't all bad. The movie has a portion of it dedicated to Sam Worthington's character Marcus Wright. A man who, unbeknownst to him, is a robot now. His portion of the movie is good. His half boils down to a post apocalyptic road picture a'la Mad Max. The chases, the survival instinct, the fight with the robots on a day to day, non rebellion level, the not knowing the truth about himself. Very good stuff. When it cuts to the John Conner portions, you can't help but want the film to cut back because THAT'S where the real action is.

NOW to the second film. Which can be best described as a fanvid slapped together by the most close minded of fanboys. A fanboy who refuses to accept anything new when it comes to HIS beloved character.

Like for example Marcus Wright having a sizable piece of film, (the original script had John Conner in a smaller role) You can hear the cries of the fanboy "Excuse me, wheres john Conner? he needs more scenes in the movie sir."

Or like when its revealed that John Conner isn't the leader of the Rebellion, you can hear the fanboy scream, "Excuse me! John Conner is the leader, who are these old men in the submarine? No no I don't think so, they need to go, John's the leader."
So they die.

Or when John Conner "dies", the fanboy must have had a heart attack, "EXCUSE ME!!! JOHN CONNER CANT DIE! HES JOHN CONNER! KILL THE STUPID ROBOT MAN INSTEAD!"

So that's what happens. The robot man gives up his heart to save John Conner, and John Conner's wife, the VETERNARIEN, gives him a heart transplant. Why did we spoil the ending? Because it's lame and you would've felt worse had you had to see it after 2 hours.

The film has so far only made 208 million and being that it cost 200 million, we aren't likely to sit through Terminator 5: The John Conner Show.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

the OFFICIAL stop motion blog about sentient teeth, of the V.P.A.R.

This blog reminds us that there are people in the world better than we are. <3

Saturday, June 6, 2009

FINALLY! E3 has come BACK! to los angeleeeeess.

It's time to uncover why the posts have been light, because we here at The Vice Presidential Action Ranger headquarters have been working on this E3 post, though it has been hard to put together since we moved to our new offices in Micronesia. So here we go.

The Awesome Stuff:

We'll start off easy. The Nintendo DS. First is A Witch's Tale by NIS America. What is being called The Nightmare before Christmas meets Candyland puzzle game which from the screenshots looks pretty badass. The DS we feel is made for puzzle games. Games you could get into while waiting for whatever and still accomplish something while playing for 10 minutes. Being as some of our members are of a goth influence, they are quite excited about this.

Next for the DS is The Legendary Starfy. At first it wasnt going to be ported as it was seen as TOO japanese. But the fervor to bring it over was just too much to ignore. This will be THE japanese crazy mindfuck game of the season, and being as some of us are of the Japanime influence, this is marked on alot of calendars as well.

Next is one of the most anticipated. The Ghostbusters. Dan Aykroyd himself states this game is Ghostbusters 3 so naturally alot of people are shitting over this AND equally wanting to shove a knife through the skull of Sony. Why? Well they paid Atari, (the publishers of the game) an assload of money to release the PS3 version first, and delay the 360 and Wii versions. Once again Sony reminds us why we hate their lame asses. The best thing about this is that instead of uglying down the graphics for the Wii version, they just redid them entirely with a cartoon feel, which looks pretty sweet. Plus the idea of using the Wii controller like a proton pack wand is too geektastic for words.

Now usually the PSP is lame. It has very few games on it worth playing but THIS is one to look forward to. Lunar: Silver Star Harmony is a sequel of sorts to Lunar Silver Star Story, one of the greatest RPG's to be ported to the original Playstation from Japan. Plus with XSEED working on this, the same company that brought us Shadow Hearts and No More Heroes, it should be something worth dusting off your PSP for.

Next is Wolfenstein, due out in August, which seems to be a remake of all the previous Wolfensteins, except taking advantage of the graphics of today. This one speaks for itself. Wolfenstein is an amazing series, and who doesnt like killing nazi's, let alone zombie ones?

NEXT is Fragile for the Wii. An RPG from our friends at XSEED. This game will be out Winter of this year and was already released in Japan in January and is making them go nuts. It's success there is the only reason its being released here and who doesnt love a sure thing?? XD

Up next is Quantum, also called Quantum Theory, one of the few PS3 exclusives you should be excited about. This game is being called a fanstasy gears of war, which is pretty good being as gears of war was fun, and is unique, as previously traveled maps will constantly be changing, caused by the "living tower" the building youll fight your way through. This is due out early 2010.

FINALLY. A legitimate 3D Castlevania game where you play a FUCKING BELMONT. Not a fighting game, not a DS side-scroller, and not a blocky ps2 hack job. To see Castle Dracula with todays gaming tech is going to beee sooooo fuggginn cooooo. Belmonts killing vampires. THATS HOW YOU DO IT BABY! *pumps crotch wildly*

*cough* is a fun little game from famed Level-5 developer called Ninokuni, (The Another World). Now your saying, "Hey VPAR, another RPG? Come aaaaan!" To wit we reply, But this one is special, quite special indeed as it is the FIRST game to also be developed by Studio Ghibli. The movie production house from God himself Hayao Miyazaki, who brought us such films as Spirited Away and Howls Moving Castle and on and on, the mans a genius!

and last in this section is the one even u.s. senators are waiting for. Batman: Arkham Asylum. The game that is "supposed" to "reboot" the Batman video game franchise, as the last ooooh, saaay all of them, have been complete shit. The premise of this paticular batman game is simple, the inmates take over AA and you as Batman must get in there and fight pretty much your entire rogues gallery. LUCKILY from screens and gameplay footage and character designs and everything else were allowed to see, this is seriously going to be so goddamn sweet we may need insulen. Luckily one V.P.A.R. member is fully stocked.

That does it for what was sweet?! super sweet! at E3, now for...

The Shitty Stuff:

DJ Hero - for some time this was listed under the Awesome stuff, BUT after getting a taste of the tracks being released with it, it is going to be pretty fucking lame. Now we here at the V.P.A.R. arent ones to stereotype, BUT usually DJ's play ELECTRONIC music. Which in the raver/dance club world, is an entirely different slew of artists. NONE of which are Gwen Stefani, Nirvana, or FUCKING MARVIN GAYE! Is the point of this game to pretend to be an actual DJ? Theyd make you think so as they hired ACTUAL DJ's to work on it, DJ's who put out their own music, none of which is in the game. OR is the point to pretend to be just any old DJ? Because given the track listing, it should be called, "Wedding DJ Hero" or "Bar Mitzvah DJ Hero" or "Radio DJ Hero". At least with Guitar Hero you "played" rock music and pretended to be a rock star, but this games track listing will only let you pretend to be the DJ at some girls sweet 16 party.

Project Natal - First off, this has nothing to do with baby care. Its pronounced like fatale'. And it is the full body, no controller needed, 3 dimensional camera system put out by XBOX, and it comes with such endorsements as Steven Spielberg! So why would something so seemily futuristic and cool be in the shitty section? Because its no where near roll out. We'll be seeing this at E3 for the next 6 years. One of the engineers working on it was quoted as saying he doesnt even know how to mass produce tech like this for the consumer market. So boo to you Microsoft for just tryin to rattle Nintendos cage, but all the while getting us excited over nothing. And SPEAKING of...

Nintendo - Bwaaaaa?! Nintendo ANYTHING in the shitty section, let alone the company as a whole? Can it be possible?? It is, is...*sigh* where to begin...-_-...
-How about the Wii Fit 2, which isnt only lame but is pretty close after the release of Wii Fit 1
-Or the WiimotionPlus, which is supposed to make your wiimote work better, but for some reason wasnt included in the original wiimote even though it was first announced soon after the wii itself.
-Or the vitality sensor. A device that is so fucking laughable as it is obviously tailored for the market of wii gamers that might actually DIE while using the Wii. Now im not saying the elderly shouldnt get their own wii shit, but dont play it off like it was for everyone Nintendo. Were not that stupid.
-Or the "NEW" new super mario brothers. A remake of a remake of the original game. In this remake you play the new super mario brothers but NOW with up to four people, though for some reason will NOT have online support. (sigh) Its bad enough they have yet to remake super mario bros 2 in the same fashion, but now they remake a remake and while doing so once again, like they did in the gamecube days, seem to think they can snuff online play and get away with it! GAH!!
-Or the fact that there was STILL no announcement of any new Kid Icarus game or any new Kirby game even though the Kirby game has been in the works since the gamecube days.

Sadly the new metroid game from team ninja and the Super Mario Galaxy 2 werent enough to save them from the onslaught of shit they threw at us. -_-

So there it is. E3 as a whole. Read up, mark your calendars, and do it with a pencil, because video game dates change more often than underwear.

Editors Note: The games listed in the awesome stuff section were picked due to their release date being probable BEFORE the next E3, as others after would be covered in next years recap.

Here are some games that ARE coming out before then but not covered.

Brutal Legend - Its got Jack Black so its covered in every stag mag out there. Pick up Maxim or FHM theyll both have a 10 page spread.
FF13 - This game has been covered ad nauseum since 06 and were tried of talking about it.
FF14- Theres no way this is coming out in 2010. bet you.
Wet- Even though Tarantino will make a movie out of it, not that exciting.
Halo: ODST - eh
All Sports games - sports games suck


Thursday, June 4, 2009

The official contact lenses for blind V.P.A.R. members

Here's something that people with poor or no vision will be excited about: three patients had their sight restored in less than a month by contact lenses cultured with stem cells.

All three patients were blind in one eye. The researchers extracted stem cells from their working eyes, cultured them in contact lenses for 10 days, and gave them to the patients. Within 10 to 14 days of use, the stem cells began recolonizing and repairing the cornea.

Of the three patients, two were legally blind but can now read the big letters on an eye chart, while the third, who could previously read the top few rows of the chart, is now able to pass the vision test for a driver's license. The research team isn't getting over excited, still remaining unsure as to whether the correction will remain stable, but the fact that the three test patients have been enjoying restored sight for the last 18 months is definitely encouraging. The simplicity and low cost of the technique also means that it could be carried out in poorer countries.
This is incredible and potentially game changing. It's stuff like this that makes you realize that we live in the future, and it's awesome.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


While thumbing through the catalog of ideas from my childhood they should ruin, Disney has stopped at the cult favorite Flight of the Navigator. If they replace Paul Reubens with someone like Robin Williams as the voice of the lovable mechanical alien, or they zach efron plays David, blood will be spilled.

Brad Copeland (Wild Hogs, Arrested Development) is writing the remake of the alien and boy family flick. The movie, which didn't really find its audience until it was released on VHS, is about a young boy who syncs up with an shiny UFO, with a liquid staircase.

Because of his connection to the UFO, the young lad gets transported into the future and evil government scientists pick him up for "experiments." Together robot alien and boy escape, and try to find a way back home, to the past.

It's almost as if major studios have simply given up on trying to come up with new ideas.

Monday, June 1, 2009

"im so stealing this" OR "how to ruin a child from day one"

Unlike other parents trying to skew their child towards video games via super mario nurseries, this one took the time to use the baby characters from the series. Impressive.