Monday, December 21, 2009

Op-Ed: Not to mention the disposable income. XD

update: (lets just be clear this is no way means that VPAR are against children. Have all you like. They're cool. Its an op-ed so stop emailing.)

I feel the need to relay a large point I made earlier.

Anyone having kids today does so out of pure selfishness. I was then asked to consider the joy and happiness a child can bring.

That's right. YOUR joy. YOUR Happiness. What about theirs? And there-in lies the many problems.

Kids today are bombarded with way more information than they can process. Between 24 hour non-stop, on-demand whatever they want on TV and the internet, their forcefully raised way too quick. Even if you work to keep them shielded from something, their friends are seeing it so the effort is futile.

Not to mention the effect it has on their egos. Kids today play little league games with no winners, play soccer games where everyone's a "hero." Because god forbid a child learns how to properly deal with loss. Then between their 800 facebook friends, their 5000 myspace friends and their 300 followers on twitter their psyches are built to think people give a crap about the mundane shit they do. Now more than ever the illusion of the "american dream" of fame and fortune is perceived to be reachable because they've seen no talent nothings "achieve". Bathroom mirrors and digital cameras are two of the biggest culprits for your kids inflated sense of self.

There's no more social conscience. Even adults today spend hours trying to find the right ringtone or laptop color that will tell the world who they REALLY are. Kids are so self involved and cold in this century of electronic detachment that they'd eat each other alive for a chance to meet a member of the Twilight cast.

And so how do we handle it when the little starlets can't cope? Well its a product of a chemical blah blah, their midichlorian level is too high, A.D.D. this, Autism that, and so here's some pills, this will fix it aaaannd BOOM, nothing is their fault.

But SOMEONE has to be to blame and between Tyra Banks and every "DR" with a book, everything always ends up being the parents fault. You'll never win. You miss a soccer game because you had to work and before you know it your daughter has daddy issues and is dating a guy twice her age and your son is in therapy 5 times a week and can't get a hard-on.

But NONE of that even matters because with the current state of global warming and the little were actually doing about it, kids born today will spend the second half of their life in fucking Waterworld. And Kevin Costner's hot-air balloon wont fit everybody.

So no, I don't want kids.

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